A reflection on my time as a Toronto Police officer

In reference to promotion as a Black police officer in the Toronto Police Service, I want to start this submission by quoting President John F. Kennedy, ” I am not here to curse the Darkness but to light a candle.”
I am responding to the recent Share article, “Supt. Stacy Clarke’s case a wake-up call for everyone” (Share June 13, 2024), with reference to Supt. Stacy Clarke’s using her position to help “Black” officers on the job move up. Not convinced that these officers were Black because the term “people of colour” is being used on the TV news outlets. This term is quite misleading and does not necessarily mean “Black”.
However, as a young police officer with the Toronto Police Service, I was told that promotion is a matter of who you know. The Chief had his friends, the deputies had their friends and so on. These folks were not friends of mine so I would not have been part of the promoted group.
I was attending the University of Toronto doing courses to obtain a BA. That activity did not figure in the promotion process. I was once asked by an Inspector doing my yearly evaluation, why am I going to school. I told this Inspector that it was none of his business.
From very early in this career choice of mine, I was determined to learn how to do the job very good and be able to hold my own in exams or any other work processes. The focus for me was never on getting promoted. In retrospect now I am satisfied and happy that I was not. One has to believe that everything happens for a reason.
My main focus as a police officer was to be very community oriented. I saw being a police officer as an extension of the community. So, I approach every situation from the community perspective. You would hear other officers make statements that I think I can save the world. I cannot save the world but I can do my best as an officer to help others when we do come in contact.
But as with many other professions in Toronto as a whole, we Black folks have to engage with others who seem bent on instilling their racist training or practices on us for the reasons that only they can explain. Many friends that I have spoken to have experienced these underlying attitudes in their line of work regardless of what that line of work is.
Here’s an example: I am heading to the washroom one day during my lunch break and I am singing which I do a lot (song, Sam Cooke, What a wonderful Day). White officer approaches me and says: “What do you guys have to sing about?” Me being me said to him: “Well, you are the one with everything, but I do not see you singing.” He continued walking and did not say another word.
This example suggests to me that here is a person who does not have the humanity in him to maybe realize that I am happy going about my day and singing in my joy. But he believes because he has everything as he seems to be intimating, then folks like me should not have anything even a simple thing like joy. I see this as pretty sad. So, the idea here is when/if that officer gets to a position to elevate someone like me, what are the odds that he would want to do that.
The above example is just one of them. But there are many instances like this that happen on a daily basis. These instances should not be the cause for any of us Black folks to despair. There are also very honest and decent White folk who would not exhibit this kind of behaviour. As long as we are alive, as James Baldwin says, we have to be optimistic. That is where my attitude toward promotion as a Black officer is centered.
We cannot allow these race bating individuals, whether they are in positions of authority or not, to take away our thunder and oxygen and thereby spend much time having them in our sights. We need to spend most of our time loving our kids, hanging out with our friends and family, playing our sports (in my case, cricket) and supporting each other in the best way we know how.
I did my job to the best of my ability, went home and left the job at the station. I may have a discussion with my wife but this was not the habit. Ninety per cent of my oxygen was spent on me time with kids, family, friends and sports. So, there was not much left for trials and tribulation of these folks in the police department that felt it is their duty to create misinformation and untruths about us Black officers in the hope that it will impede our progress up the ladder.
For the most part the script was already written.
I was recommended for a community position by a Sergeant who concluded that I was the best person for that position. But he was threatened to be put back in uniform if he kept putting forward my name. He came to my home and spoke to my wife suggesting to her that she should encourage me to go out and play golf with the fellas and involve myself in other activities like that. She told him that he did not know me and that I was not going to do any of that. She was right. I then told the Sergeant that it was not an issue. The position can go to someone else. He insisted that I was the correct person for the position and that I should try to do what I can to get the position. I told him that I was comfortable being an officer the way it was and I was fine. The position was then given to an officer who had no interest in our community whatsoever and that is the way some of the higher authorities would prefer it to be.
Several times you will hear these authorities in the Police Department deny that any kind of racism exists. These folks usually have their own political agenda. So, we folks would be among the last that they would want to highlight. We are usually thrown under the bus. But I maintain that we have to keep loving our children, supporting our family and friends and support those who are trying to make a difference in our lives.
I do not expect all Black politicians to have specific interest in helping our community, but I believe that the majority will want to give some priority to improving things for us.
One example I can speak to deals with a popular Ontario politician that showed his true colours at an umpire’s cricket dance some years ago. He happened to be seated at the same table as me and two buddies. Without any urging, he volunteered his view that we Black folks beg too much. I took offence to this and I told him the programs that give to other groups, Italian, Greeks, Portuguese and so on, all come from our taxpayer dollars. I also asked what is the problem with Black groups getting assistance from the same taxpayers dollars? He never responded and did not say much more for the rest of the night. That’s when I said to myself that this politician who no doubt got lots of votes from Black folk is an obvious sellout.
This attitude is very prevalent even among the folks that we may think have our backs.
There is an officer who is retired now. He was given Policeman of the Year on two separate occasions. I met him one day and I asked him how come these folks who recommended him for Policeman of the Year twice never helped him get promoted to a higher rank? He did not have an answer to my question. I know this officer and he was very satisfied with that situation. He used to be a parking control officer and he became a police officer.
While at Police Headquarters one night to do a concert with the Police Association Male Chorus, I heard a Deputy telling him that he has come a long way. I took that to mean that since this officer is now an officer as opposed to being a parking control officer, that was great. This Deputy felt that this was a great achievement for the officer. So, the culture of not moving him up any further was alive and going well in this Deputy’s mind.
There are many examples of incidents that can show the culture of biases in policing that would hinder the progress of being promoted. Some of these folks in charge are devoted to practicing their biases.
While attending the University of Toronto, I would preselect the day off to write my exams. In this one course, the professor was very strict about not allowing students to make up the final test if they missed. So, he instructed all of us to make sure that we have the days available to write the final exam. I did just that. I got to work the day before my final exam for this test and my day off was cancelled by this Staff Sergeant for no reason. However, my job came first and I missed the exam and failed that course. The day after, this Staff Sergeant had the unmitigated gall to approach me and actually put his hand around my shoulder and said that he would not do that again. I told him to take his F’king hand off me. The nerve. I had to redo that course. It was not a big issue in terms of me stressing over it.
The unforgettable Charles Roach had advised me previously to take my time to complete the Degree. He said I was young and had lots of time. I valued that advice and just retook the course.
I believe the playing field at present is much more level than years ago. I have taken many exams and for the most part had good marks. I still have a letter from the Police College acknowledging my efforts in one exam and the letter said that I would be hearing from them soon. I never heard from them. But as I said before, being promoted was not a driving force for me. I was satisfied being an officer and I relished the idea of helping folk when I met them on the job.
I found being a police officer to be very satisfying as a person in the community and I tried to exhibit humility, empathy and concern each time that I would encounter the public. Some of the homeless folks were very surprised when I called them “Sir”. I was able to leave the job without any scars of the racists attitudes of some officers and I still have my faculties intact. I was blessed and protected as I put my trust in a higher power by reading Psalm 91 on a daily basis.
So not being promoted, while it might have been a good thing moneywise, I have no regrets. I also hope that those who have been promoted saw benefits other than the money. But this is just a personal viewpoint. There is no jealousy here. I am very happy for those coming forward now who possibly have a better playing field from which to play the game.