By QUEEN MACOOMEH
Yes, ah say Caribana 2009. Every time ah try to say Scotiabank Caribana meh teet does bite meh tongue. Ah cah get it do easy at all. Why? No disrespeck to Scotiabank, eh? Dem name bank an bank belong to de Gimme Gimme Gang. Dey doh make profit by being sorf an lettin a golden goose get away. Expressly if de goose take awf all he fedders, jump on a plate nex to some kuchila an rice, han de bank a knife an fork an say, “Look Meh!”
Is not me alone who feel so, eh. Nuff people ah talk wid since we get buy out, feel dat dis is not Scotiabank ting, is we ting dat we give away. Is like de time a man put he wife on Ebay to sell she for two dollars. People make a bid, oui. But, unlike dat man, we went troo wid de deal an get stick.
So if anybody from Scotia reading dis, ah want yuh carry a message to de borse man or lady fuh me please? Tell dem ease back on branding my ting. Is not Scotiabank Caribana! Is Caribana sponsored by Scotiabank! Ah chuts, man! Is not yours! Is mines! Doh mine what de FMC write on de receipt. I len yuh, I din give yuh. De people who ah put in charge of my festival make a bad joke. Doh get too comfertebble. Stop treating meh heritage like a low fence! As soon as ah make a profit ah comin back fuh it, so keep de receipt handy.
But udda dan dat, hear nuh man.
Mas Makers an Portrayers an Band Leaders! Oh Gorme! All yuh had me in space, papa! I too sorry ah miss Calypso an de Kiddies carnival but ah reach in time for King an Queen Show an whole night all yuh had me bazodie! Garcon, mwen gardez! When ah say all yuh come good, ah mean yuh come real good, because yuh done know, if yuh did do me like how yuh do me las year, ah wudda open meh mout, take out meh plate an buss two level j’ouvert morning psalm in yuh skin.
But, jeezanges, from female individual right troo to de las King ah was clappin an snappin pittear. Oui Foote! Ah din envy de judges because dem had it to do. Competition was real stiff an de standard was higher dan I ever see it fuh de past how much years. Nice man! It have a few I want to big up separate doh, so hear meh lyrics.
Mr. Saldenah compere, watch me. Yuh see dat king yuh had dey? It make meh skin walk, papa. Dat is a classic piece’ah mas dey, boy! Dais yuh daddy mas in real. An to know is Harold Saldenah own granchile what carrying it had me feelin to cry. Yuh king place 3rd, but not fuh me. Dat mas had a special place in meh heart. If it had a classic category or a archive category, yuh wudda run away wid firse place. You, Anton, all who work on “Power and Glory”, take a clap, eh!
“Mama Africa”! Girl, for me you was borse! Yuh dance yuh mas, yuh well play yuhself. De whole costume spoke of what you was portrayin. I doh know how come you wasn in de winners circle, nuh. Take a bow, yes, girl.
What was nice too is dat nobody en pitch awf de stage. It was still too high, but ah feel people come an peep first to see how high de precipice was. Ah see a band leader come an measure awf de stage. He count how much feet wide by how much feet deep. Ah did wonder why, until ah see he Queen buss out on de stage. Oh Gooode! “The Beauty of Mercury Mist” was a massive costume, boy! Lawd an when de lights take it, papa-yo everybody bawl, RAY! Congrats Mr. Skeete an Miss Cuffie. Yuh win 2nd but still is only one udda costume coulda beat you!
Miss Crichton take win, mamselle. Big up to Carib Nationz – all yuh clean out de prize cabinet!
Even doh I well enjoy mehself dat night, it still have a few tings we could improve on. So doh mind, eh, ah have to give de sour wid de sweet uddawise ah go have to give up meh tikle of Executive Mouter.
On de one han ah understand Lamport Stadium en want we mash up de turf, so if we have to have we events dey, de grong have to be covered. I doh have a PhD in flooring but dat plastic linoleum ting en wukkin. It remine me of a time ah see a lady walking dong Bay Street wid she skirt stick in she pantyhose. Costume wheels stickin an since it sorf, de heavier costumes sinkin into it. It en have nuttin else we could use? Or better yet, did we make a profit dat night to put aside to rent a better place nex year? I know all yuh sell out ticket. Even de corn soup man pot was empty, so even if a few cents fall in people pants hem, we might still have a lil cacadah leave back, ent?
Ah have to come in two verse, so hole dis for now till ah come again. Is plenty zaffairs to write but people go get vex wid me if ah start a epistle inside here. So lemme doh wear out meh welcome mat.
Ah have a real serious boof to share out, doh. When ah done ah know is eidda ah get exported where ah come from or dey lock Caribana gate on me but ah talking level troot. Hole strain, ah comin back.
Copyright August 2009