By QUEEN MACOOMEH
As usual, after carnival done, ah feeling mash up and dead out. My lef knee en talking to my right knee and meh head, meh back and meh foot bawling NAH NAH NAH! And is not even to say I was drinking hard, eh? I was so busy gallivanting dat I en even get chance to trow a hot one in de back of my troat. Hear meh lyrics for de season:
King & Queen Show: Dis show is my favourite of de festivities. Not to say pan or calypso have to wine to de side, but in case I din tell yuh before, yuh hatta understand dat I am a carnival baby. My first few weeks of life dey tell me I was prop up in a pram in a Port of Spain sailor band and ever since den, papa-yo, mas own me. Plus to besides ah have Drevay DNA and a chipping-dong-de-road liver string, so ah doh care if Monday fall on a Friday, I have to be in Lamport Stadium before de first female individual put she foot on stage.
Ah make two novena to beg Papa Gawd doh let de rain spoil de bacchanal and den was to see me dat evening like a Sah Wah taxi, weaving in traffic, picking up people and nearly bouncing down two bicyclists to reach in time. No parking as usual, so I went behine Gawd back to park and hustle to get inside. Ah get meh wristband and run to meh favourite spot and see a lady park up dey. Ah steupse too bad but try to remember meh broughtupsy, so ah set up elsewhere. People coming in thick and heavy, music blasting.
Two tings ah notice and I appreciate. First, de stage was better set up, wider, to accommodate de zaffairs and second, ah see dem take down de big macco Scotiabank red bo-weevil sign. Dat way now when ah take snap, de big chupid sign en go bodda me. Nice.
Meh boy Dick Lochan was co-emceeing again wid Jai Ojah Maharaj. Ah say good. Dick is meh pally wal and he does kill me dead wid de pronouncement of some words. Las year when he call out de name of one of Tribal Knight’s mas and say Pre-Dater ah nearly capsides in a canal. Doh mine people does complain, I like Dick bad.
O. K, so competition start, female individuals, den male individuals, den queens, den kings.
Is 2011. Caribana Trademark is 44 years of age Auntie Kay, ent? We have at lease 44 years of mas building experience between all dem mas builders, right? Not everybody is a Peter Minshall or a Wayne Berkley, I understand dat. But we have we geniuses here in Toronto. So why, in 2011, we still having bare bones mas? Mas widdout tase? Mas breaking up? Masqueraders who doh realize dat a smile or at least a pleasant face would help in presentation? One man look at he foot whole time he on stage. Ent he count two foot? He was expecting to see more dan two? A nex girl had she face set up like rain. A nex udda one drag she mas up and dong as if it boddering she. A man come in a absolutely magnificent costume but look like he high like a kite and en even dance he mas. He jes wander around de stage waiting for time to pass.
Mas is not jes a matter of sticking on two fedda and flying across a stage. Is time people learn dat. You not dere for you. You dere for we. You dere to catch we eye and keep we attention for de tree-four minutes yuh have. When you head to de exit you want to hear we bawl for you. You want we eye to stay on you right up to de end. You want to make sure de judges appreciate you. Watch dem in dey face, bow, wave, smile, send a kiss, make sweet eye, someting. Oh shims man.
Furdamore, you muss know what your costume look like. You muss be proud of your costume before you bring it to de big stage. Dat costume MUSS say “AY, yuh see me? People spend time on me. I name MAS, watch me good!”
Not everybody could win but, oh gorme man. Some of de costumes I see dat night was saying “Ay, yuh see me? I now finish make in de parking lot outside wid chingum and flour glue. I en have no tase, I doh mean nutting. I en care you pay money to see me. Haul yuh baxide.”
Dat not fair. Den when yuh lorse yuh want to know why? Some people say yuh done make yuh money selling bead and panty mas so you en really care what yuh king and queen look like. Dat is fine wid me too. Yes man. Make a ratchiffee mas. But leave de blooming ting in de mas camp! Doh bring it for people to see and laugh at you.
If is a question of not knowing how to make yuh mas, den get help, ask a proper designer to help you. Swallow your pride and learn de craft. And it IS a craft eh? Building a mas is not something you could learn overnight. Respect de craft and stop bringing dem ting in Lamport stadium. Is high time. We pass dat stage years ago.
Ah coming back widdee ress of meh mauvais langue next week.
Copyright August 2011